NEW LIFE?!?

I’m not one for hyperbole.  Rarely does the hype ever match the importance of the issue at hand, and that gap gets wider every day.  However, there are always exceptions, and the news from yesterday certainly hits that mark.  NASA was hangin’ around a lake in California and, ho-hum, found an entirely new species of life unlike anything that we’ve ever seen before.  No big deal or anything.  GFAJ-1 is an arsenic-based lifeform, which should strike you as odd, former high school science students, since such a thing doesn’t exist in our plain of existence.  I’m not going to sit here and act like I really know what’s going on, so go seewhat smart people have to say about it at Gizmodo or Science mag or those NASA folks.

Considering that the very range for what we consider life has been completely altered from this point forward, one would assume that it would be the biggest story imaginable.  IT’S CHANGED THE WAY WE HAVE VIEWED LIFE FOREVER!!!  Buuut not as big as LeBron in Cleveland.  Or Qatar getting the World Cup in 2022.  Or being stuck in snow for a day.  But y’know, it’s easily the 7th most important thing…below everything else….

Now whether or not it’s more newsworthy than Britney Spears tweets?  That’s debatable.

Analyzing CNN

Finding the news isn’t getting any easier for us.  As our pathways to information get broader every day, our inability to decipher what’s real and what’s fake or what’s fact and what’s opinion grows at the same rate.  It’s quite the paradox:  our reach has never been wider and our intelligence has never been questioned more.  We get pandered to, yelled at, and told how to think, what to think, and when to think it.  This movement is exacerbated–possibly caused exclusively by–the cable news networks, a group of channels who use the term “news” as a placard to bring you in, but rarely produce on that promise.

I glean this knowledge from experience.  This past Tuesday, I took the plunge and devoted literally half a day towards watching CNN’s coverage of the day’s news and events.  The Cable News Network is the network of record, the bastardized New York Times of cable news, and, in the interest of objectivity, my network of choice when I follow big news events.  I’m not proud of this fact.  After mainlining the stuff like I was Bubbles on The Wire, let me tell you, I’m damn near ashamed of this fact. 

Losing My Sanity (And Watching 12 Hours Of CNN)

So the day has finally come.  Buoyed by my trip to DC for the Stewart/Colbert rally and a challenge (of sorts) from On The DL Podcast‘s (among other places) Dan Levy, I’m about to watch twelve straight hours of CNN.  Why?  Because I love news.  Well, that combined by with how little I enjoy 24 hours news.  It’s a sensationalist trap of fear tactics and sweeping camera pans, and I’d love to see just how deep that hole is that CNN has put itself in.

Throughout the day, I’ll update this post on my status and with some short quips about the shows, the hosts, etc. with an eye to do a fully-damning report tomorrow on my entire experience.  I have two giant white boards with which to work on and keep track of numbers – and holy hell are there going to be a lot of numbers.  Call me a news sabremetrician.  I’ll essentially be live blogging 24 hours news…which, if done in all seriousness, might be the worst idea ever.  So I’ll try to keep it light.  For example, did you know Wolf Blitzer’s beard takes up 10% of his total body mass?

Postponment

I have unfortunately been called in to work today directly in the middle of my planned CNN marathon that was to begin in a few minutes.  Because of this obvious kick in the pants of my schedule, the CNN experience will have to be done next Tuesday.  Same rules apply – 11 AM to 11 PM, nothing but CNN (and tears…many, many tears).  Hope you’ll all come around next week.

Now, to re-read the first half of a first draft.  A 1/2 draft?  I might make up for this with two posts tomorrow – we’ll see if my brain can cash that, uh, mouth check.

CNN…at least for half a day

A week or two ago, I was listening to the On The DL Podcast, a show that talks about sports, the media’s involvement in sports, and the media in general, and the show’s host, Dan Levy, was discussing a recent trip to jury duty.  The poor bastard forgot his headphones, so he was forced to watch an ungodly amount of CNN as he sat and waited to say he was a racist and wanted no part of that case (isn’t that what we’re all conditioned to regardless of what the case is about?).  When he went on his show the next day, Dan implored that someone should take 24 hours and watch just how truly awful CNN is.  Well, I’m not that man.  I’m going to be the guy who puts in 12 hours.