The Grape Lady

It has been a long time since I first saw this video and it doesn’t really get old.  Yes, the woman, named Melissa Sander according to this factual internet report, gets exactly what she deserves for cheating, and yes, her gutteral pleas for air or are the more hilarious because of her actions.  But I love this video for so much more.

:00 – The placement of the buckets.  I understand that they need to measure the amount of grapes smooshed Lucy-style, but no one in the planning committee could really see this sort of calamity coming a mile away?

:15 – Grape expert asks enthusiastically, “Are you ready to try it?” and our reporter acts like she’s being dropped off a cliff with an “iffy” parachute.  Jesus woman, you get paid to stomp around on grapes once in a blue moon.  Unless she has some ESP, her lack of a cheery disposition goes against everything in the Morning News Show handbook.  She should be smiling so much it makes me want to change the channel (which I do according to my “How To Watch A Morning News Show” handbook).

:43 – The grape-stomping technique from the expert baffles.  You really just stand in one spot?  Don’t move around to affect more grapes?  If I’m ever in a grape-stomping contest, I’m winning the shit out of it thanks to this lady.

:57 – The bemused almost non-reaction from the expert.  The camera man’s steely resistance to breaking the shot and actually helping.  Both of these actions seem to show that the woman who fell sucks and sucks hard, but mostly it lets me know that some people are always professionals.  But mostly that she was probably an asshole.

1:10 – The horribly fake reaction from the two studio hosts who may or may not be cut out of wax.

1:20 – Female co-host, “We’re going to make sure she is [okay].”  Male co-host, “we’ll try to check up on her.”  Clearly her health is not of the utmost importance to Mr. Anchor.  Also, he knows the value of the tease.

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