My grandma’s house is a gift that keeps on giving.
While I was over there last night helping on a few things around her house (aren’t I just the best li’l grandson around?) I stumbled upon this beauty. There is something so refreshingly honest about the fact that what you’re eating isn’t some fancy-named product with a great tag line and name that is trying to trick you into putting it into your stomach. No, here it’s plain as day: if you want genuine mayo, then this ain’t the place, pal. This is for knock-off land, a place of cheaper prices and and slightly-nauseating taste which, considering the product at hand, is probably par for the course.
The other bit of fun is playing archeologist and going to a new island called Jurassic Park to see raptors in real life trying to guess from what age this is from. Luckily, there is a handy “best before” date on the side, which is great, cause trying to carbon-date something is mighty expensive.
I’m not sure how long Imitation Mayo can stay out, so let’s figure that the bottle was made roughly around the time of Woodstock. So if this bottle was made in those halcyon days of 1969, when tweeners across the land giggled when they had to write “/69” on all their papers, that means it’s roughly two times as old as me. This begs the ultimate question: if you ate mayo that was made yesterday or made forty years ago, could you taste the difference?